One thing I've been learning about in seminary is social location. Now, this is not a new idea to me. I grew up learning about and knowing people from other cultures. I enjoy seeking out new experiences from different cultures that I haven't experienced before in order to better understand where someone is coming from. I am a student of history, so I know how to locate and incorporate the historical backgrounds of other cultures into my experiences and interactions with people from that culture.
On the other hand, I am aware of my own cultural-historical background, and it's generally pretty ugly. White guys are not kind in most of the world's history; even educated and supposedly highly ethical and religious white guys can be bad folks. We all know the laundry list. American white guys have their own special place in the history of really terrible things done to other people, and I am a part of that group, not given a choice to reject that history.
In this process of recognition, it's hard to not feel guilty. White men brought over slaves from Africa. White men broke treaty after treaty with the indigenous people of the Americas. White men established Jim Crow laws. White men locked up Japanese citizens during World War II. White men sponsored bad people in country revolutions across the globe, and so here we are today with many people around the world hating the people of our country without having met them.
Does this get in the way of acknowledging who I am, and where I come from? In some ways, yes, and in others, no. But even in basic identities, I'm confused. For example, there is an option for your Facebook profile to list your hometown. What is my hometown? I was born in Omaha, NE. But by the time I was a senior in high school, I had lived in Omaha for seven years, Lincoln, NE, for three years, San Anselmo, CA, for two years, and Novato, CA, for six years. In Omaha, I lived in at least four different places, in Lincoln, one, in San Anselmo, two, and in Novato, three. Meanwhile, I was visiting back and forth between my parents all year long, earlier between Omaha and Lincoln after my parents divorced, and later between California and Nebraska. For college, I went to Crete, NE, for four years, visiting home in California every year (and moving in California one summer), before heading to live in Greeley, CO for three years after college. Leaving Colorado led me to Santa Rosa, CA, for two and a half years, before a short move to Petaluma, CA, for almost a year, and then to my present location in Berkeley, CA for the last four months.
So which of those is my hometown? I haven't a clue. I've most closely identified with Marin County, CA, as my "hometown," but some days I feel Nebraskan and some days I feel Californian. I haven't lived anywhere recently that I've felt I could really claim as my home. I feel like a transient spirit, just moving through the phases of life.
Who am I, then? In a world where geography can play an important role how we are perceived (just check out the electoral maps if you don't believe me...), how do I find a place to hold on to? Where is my home for the holidays?
