My Surreal Sunday

It was unexpected.  By that, I mean, having never been punched in the face before, I didn't recognize what was happening until after it happened.  It was a touch past surreal.  Maybe next time I'll know I should duck.

I have no idea how the day ended up this way.  The plan: head to Menlo Park Presbyterian Church for morning service, chill out in the area for a bunch of hours, and then head back to the church for the 7 PM young adult service.  As part of my day hanging around, I thought a movie would be a good time killer, so I found a big theater, drove over there after the service got out around noon, parked the car, and went looking for some food.

Ah, Redwood City, a fine downtown area indeed, if not a tad on the ritzy side.  As I rounded a corner towards the "food court" area next to the theater, I passed a man on the sidewalk that seemed to give me a strange look. So it goes sometimes, I thought, and continued on.  About halfway down the street, as I was checking out the many food options, I realized the man that gave me a strange look was following me, and that's when he approached me.

We had a short conversation about what I was doing and what my plans were, and I had a sense that something strange was going on.  We walked into the Chipotle together, as I figured burritos were a good choice of food.  Plus, it was a public establishment that might discourage any untoward action.  Or so I thought.  I stood in line, and he asked me if I knew what I wanted.  I told him I was still figuring it out, all the while trying to figure out how to separate myself from him, for the hair on the back of my neck grew straighter by the second.

That's when I didn't recognize his fist coming at me.  Like so often said, it was in slow motion.  Rather than reacting, I stood confused, trying to figure out what he was doing.  That was sorted out pretty quickly when he hit me, but I was still confused: why would someone want to hit me, much less someone I don't know?

I backed away with my hands in front of me, ready to try to ward of the next blow that never came.  At first the ladies at the counter implored us to take it outside, not wanting violence in their fine eatery.  I agreed vociferously, quickly winning them over with my consistent backing and asking for them to call the police.  The man was still saying things to me, but I wasn't paying too much attention to that so much as his location and my places of safe harbor.  After the ladies at the counter confirmed they were calling the police, the man left and walked down the street in a pretty normal manner.

One punch.  That was it. It's hard for me to call one punch an assault, but that's where the police were, so I wasn't going to argue.  Since they had him in custody due to some fast and fantastic police work, I was asked if I wanted to press charges.  It took me a while to decide.  All I could think about was compassion and love, and how it's so hard to love those who hate you, but that doesn't get you off the hook.  So I was leaning towards no, but I then I thought some more.

I'd had some time to reflect on what happened as I waited for the police to show up, and I ran everything over in my head.  I can't remember the specifics of what he was saying, but the general gist I was picking up was he didn't like me for some reason, and thought what I was doing was wrong.  I don't know what that's a reference to, since I had never seen this man before in my life, and we knew nothing of each other.  He didn't want my money, and he never said anything about how I might have wronged him.  I was clearly targeted by him, so a quick inventory of myself told me he thought I was gay.  Either that, or he didn't like my orange shirt?  I still wear my rainbow bracelet every day to show my support for the LGBTQ population, and that was the only thing I could think of that might have caught his attention.

Maybe I'm wrong, but it felt to me like a hate crime.  In the end, that's why I decided to press charges.  If he was disturbed, or high, or I had unknowingly wronged him, I might have let it pass and let go, but there was that nagging feeling in the back of my head that there was something else to it.  If he had hit me because I was gay, even if it was only a slim possibility, I couldn't let it pass.  How could I look my friends or family in the eye after fighting against things like that for so long, and then when the opportunity came upon me, just letting it slide?  How is that justice?

But maybe I'm just projecting an idea to understand these strange events.  It's easier to think that someone won't decide today that you're the one to be violent towards.  It's easier to think that everyone acts in a rational way, and that one need only show a person the "right" way to change a course of action.  It's easier to think that everything has a simple reason behind it, and that if we understand that reason, if in some way it all makes sense to us, then it just gets better.  But it's not easy.  Even if I can fully convince myself of his possible ugly intentions, I still don't see a way to clearing up the confusion I can't shake.  My mind works so hard to try to understand everything I can encounter, and it sure is working overdrive on this one, but I'm no closer to understanding now than I was as it was happening.

I never was angry at the man, and I'm still not.  Whatever his reasons were, in the end he needed some kind of help, and perhaps his arrest will point him towards that help.  Really, I felt sad for him.  I felt sad for all the points in his life that led him to the one of violence with me.  I felt sad for how his life may be so different now that he hit me.  I felt sad that he didn't even see the wrong in what he had done, with they way in which he casually walked away revealing so much.

The police officer told me I would most likely never see him again, and I suppose I'm fine with that.  But part of me wishes I could see him again, perhaps just in passing, just to say that I pray peace finds his life to free him from whatever led him to hit me, and that I forgive him.

Mid-Summer

It's nearing the end of July, and I've had a busy three weeks of Introduction to Christian History class.  Four hours a day in class, five days a week, plus reading homework and then papers to write.  Tomorrow is the final day, and the class had been great.  So tomorrow will be a great day of ending as we talk about the last 50 years of Christian history, and then I'll be (mostly) free for the month of August to do a lot of something and a lot of nothing.

Also, the Giants are having a good month.  Really, they are having a good year.  How do I know this?  Well, aside from checking out the Giants games, box scores, and stories, I find myself already checking the standings every day.  In mid-July.  With well over two months to go on the season.  Yowza.

What have I learned?  Well, as of tonight, the Giants are a fine four games in first place, tied for the largest division lead at this point.  For those counting at home, they have the same number of wins as the Evil Empire (aka the Yankees) while scoring 125 fewer runs.  Who needs high-priced free agents?  Or the ability to score runs?  Only the Phillies have allowed fewer runs than the Giants, which should make for an interesting series come October, should both get that far.

It's the same Giants as last year, but worse.  Somehow, they find a way to win those one run games (at 26-13), and that's all it takes.  A win by one run counts the same as a win by twenty.

If the Giants make it to the playoffs again, I'll be happy.  If they make it to the World Series again, I'll got nuts.  And if they win again?  Well, I wasn't sure how I'd react to the first one last year, so I have no idea how I'd take two in a row.  Of course, if they fall flat and miss the playoffs, I'll be sad, but then I can remember the glory of last October, for I'm sure I'll be feeling that one for a while.

But, seriously, it's too early for watching the standings every day.  So much can happen in two and a half months.  Just look where the Giants were last year at this time.  You never know who will come from behind to make a run at it.  You never know what Cinderella will fall apart (Pirates?  Indians?  Diamondbacks?).  So what's the use with all this scoreboard watching with so much time left.

Now, do as I say, not as I do.

Who casts the first stone?

Checking out links on Facebook today led me to this story about the "The Marriage Vow" and the willingness of Republican Presidential candidates to sign it.  Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum have already signed on, and others may be on the way shortly.  If you'd like to take a look, read below.

The Marriage Vow

My quick summery after a read-through: the candidate pledges to "protect" marriage through various actions and legislation if elected to office.  As I am generally a liberal fellow, you are probably not surprised in my lack of support for this document.

In wandering though the experience of reading this, I was struck by two things.  First, the liberal reaction is mostly vitriol.  Is the left really surprised by this?  Here we see on paper exactly what a number of candidates have been talking about throughout their campaigns.  The reaction to this on the right, I presume, is one of affirmation.  These are, after all, Republican candidates looking for ways to distinguish themselves in a race full of a lot of look-a-likes.  Telling their base in no uncertain terms exactly what they want to hear when it comes to social issues, so, no, I am not surprised by the news of the Vow, or that candidates are signing it, because that's what the Republican base wants.

And that leads me to my second thought, which I find much more important.  If we describe ourselves as progressive, how are we to have a conversation with those that oppose us by starting the conversation with insults and belittling.  I see progressives so quick to claim the high ground on so many issues with a reinvention of moral superiority the marginalized have sought so long to eliminate.  Doesn't it seem the least bit hypocritical and pretentious to tell other people they need to stop bullying and name calling and finish by calling them stupid for not getting it?

Oh, I'm could talk about the problems I have with this vow and those candidates that support it, and I could for quite some time, but that's beyond the point.  We can disagree with each other on how we view the world and how we implement policy.  But if we truly believe that our vision for the country is better than some other vision, we cannot start down that road by stepping backwards into pettiness and thuggery.  After all, that's what it is to call someone stupid.

I was reminded in class this week that, despite a many and varied differences, we are all human.  It is important to remember that we all deserve compassion.  We come from different social locations, political systems, and spiritual beliefs, but we must remember that we must be compassionate for every human, not matter how badly we disagree with them.  Everyone had their bias on how they view the world, but if we add compassion to that bias, we can start a conversation about moving forward without moving backward.